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【IELTS writing task2】出来はともかくテンプレ通りに攻略してみる。その1

問題はCambridge University PressのIELTS 10 test 1 writing task 2から

 

問題

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

 

To waht extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

 

What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowes to use to teach good behavior to children?

 

解答(適当にネットに転がってるテンプレに適当に内容を入れただけ)

Recently, a great attention has been paid to punishment to teach children the difference between right and wrong. Therefore, there is a growing controversy over whether people should deal with punishment for children. Some people state that punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. They perhaps say like 'educational'. However, these are some opponents who disagree with above perspective. This essay will examine and consider the punishment for children.

 

The first point to consider is the fact that punishment is useful way to teach good behavior to children. For instance, according to the recent research conducted by Tokyo University of Education and Health which is the prestigious university in the field of children's education in Japan, actually, they found that over 90% of children are suffered some punishment by teachers. They mention about this result indicate the reason why Japanese people can grow as so polite and peaceful, compare with other countries. In my opinion, most Japanese people has good behavior. But when we focus the situation that suicide rate of Japanese young people, especially student, is higher than children are in other countries, punishment lead to good behavior to children is not simple problem.

 

On the other hand, there is no doubt that some people disagree with the perception presented previously. In an interview with famous critic of education, he pointed out that no relation of puishment for children and their good behavior whether punishment is big or small. Therefore, punishment is not enough role to help them learn right or wrong. I completely agree his opinion. Because, before teaching the right things via punishment, children need to recognise themselves what is the difference between right and wrong. I believe that this recognition comes with children's growth which is led from spending time with good parents and teachers naturally. This means good adults who show good behavior are able to teach good things to children without punishment.

 

In conclusion, I would like to emphasise that disagree of punishment for children. I believe that the good behavior of significant neighbor transmit it to children directly and naturally without punishment.

 

 

はい、とりあえず書きました。文字数は351語。赤字はテンプレそのまま。

正直、テンプレそのままは書きにくかったです。この設問は賛成か反対かを述べるタイプのもので、この文章では自分の立場が後半まではっきりしませんね。このテンプレは二つの意見を述べて自分の意見を述べるタイプのような気がします。IELTS初心者なのでまだ詳しくは分からないですが。どうやら、賛成か反対かを述べるパターンの場合は自分の意見を最初から述べる方が良いみたいです。そして、そのパターンの書き方を参考に上記の内容を書き直したので、それはその2で紹介します。そっちの方がかなり書きやすかったです。